Fanfiction Fridays: OMG, a Dragon is Coming! Let’s Jump into the Lake(town) of Tears and Taunt Azog!

In the second part of Remaking “The Hobbit”, we have the following:

  • Thorin and Thranduil’s fight
  • Jacquelyn knows a certain honorless Laketown citizen (and not in a good way)
  • Kili falls in love with an elf
  • Smaug attacks Laketown to the tune of a certain parody about dinosaurs
  • Jacquelyn finds Sam and Sabrina living in Laketown
  • Smaug vs. Danaerys
  • Saphira (who married Oliver) is miserable while Jacquelyn and Ophelia (Oliver’s mother) get into a fight while “Defying Gravity” plays in the background
  • MITHRIL SCENE!!! (it had to happen)
  • Jacquelyn FINALLY puts her foot down
  • Azog taunts everyone Monty Python style

And yes, we end the story with the famous “Bilbo Baggins Song”. Why? Because screw you, that’s why! (Plus, no dead Durins are allowed in this story!)

Just so you know, my books Cthulhu Returns, Harry Moffer & the Dumbest Story Ever, and The Summer of Our Discontent are available for purchase on


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