FAWM Day 9

Here’s another song, which is about the biggest fight in literary history. Everyone ffrom your favorite stories gets into a huge fight, in which only one person can win. This song contains violence, so beware.

The Literary Showdown (parody of Lemon Demon’s “The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny“)

Harry Potter was hoppin’ around, / the library like a big playground, / When suddenly Artemis Fowl burst from the shade, / And hit Harry with a grenade, / Harry got pissed and began to attack, / But didn’t expect to be blocked by Klaus Baudelaire, / Who proceeded to open up a can of Book Fu, / When Lyra Belacqua came from out of the blue, / And she started beating up Klaus the Bookworm, / Then they both got flattened by the Ginny-mobile, / But before she could make it back to the chamber of secrets, / Anastasia popped out of her grave, / And took a .22 out from under her cloak, / And blew Ginny away with a bang-bang-bang, / But she ran out of bullets and she ran away, / Because Charlie Bone came to save the day!

This is the literary showdown…of literary destiny / heroes and villains and battles…as far as I can read / There can be only one winner, we don’t know who it will be / This is the literary showdown…of literary destiny

Harry Potter beat the crap out of Charlie Bone, / Like the Jedis beat up the Sith, / Then Klaus came back covered in a tire track, / But Bella Swan jumped out and landed on his back, / And Ginny was injured and trying to get steady, / When Anastasia came back with a machete, / But suddenly something caught her leg and she tripped, / Eragon took her out with his sword, Then he saw Harry sneaking up from behind, / And he reached for his bow which he just couldn’t find, / Because Ginny stole it, and she shot and he missed, / And Bella deflected the arrow with her shield, / Then she jumped in the air and he did a somersault, / While Lyra tried to pole vault, / Onto Charlie’s back, but they collided in the air, / Then they both got whacked in the head by Gollum,

This is the literary showdown…of literary destiny / heroes and villains and battles…as far as I can read / There can be only one winner, we don’t know who it will be / This is the literary showdown…

The Greywyn Academy Glee Club sang out, / in a very freaky chorus, / down from the Heavens, / Descended Aragorn, / Who delivered a kick, / Which could shatter bones, / Into the crotch, / Of Eragon Shadeslayer, / Who fell over on the ground, / Writhing in pain, / As Ginny changed back, / Into Lord Voldemort, / But Aragorn saw through, / His clever disguise, / And he crushed Voldemort’s head, / In between his thighs.

Then Clary Fray, / And Meggie Folchart, / And “that one kid from that weird TV show”, / And Bartok Rasputin, / And Jacquel Spartan, / And Prince Zuko, / And Elena Gilbert, / Percy Jackson, / Bart Simpson, / Lestat, / And Robert Langdon, / Jaeyamie Nealson, / Speed Racer, / all the Teen Rebels, / Peter Pan, / And Stewie Griffin, / Kaylen Klieg, / Jacquel Rassenworth, / Bailey Bennett, / And Mr. T

All came out of nowhere lightning fast, / And they kicked Aragorn in his kingly ass, / It was the bloodiest battle that the library ever saw, / With readers looking on in total awe,

The fight raged on for a century, / Many lives were claimed but eventually, / The champion stood, / The rest saw their better, / Tyrion Lannister in a blood-stained sweater!

This is the literary showdown of literary destiny! / Good guys, bad guys and big battles, / As far as the eye can see, / There can be only one winner, / I wonder who it will be. / This is the literary showdown (this is the literary showdown) / This is the literary showdown! (this is the literary showdown) / This is the literary showdown of literary destiny!

Another song will follow. *runs away*

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